I'm Not A Freak I'm Emmett Cullen
by LadyEmjazz
Summary: When you realize you're not who you thought you were, how do you keep the pieces from falling? And who will be there to help you pick them up? Emmett/Jasper slash. Mention of Em/Ro, brief Em/Ed.
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER:** I own nothing. So don't get any funny ideas ... :P

Just a heads up, in my fic, the Cullens sleep. That's pretty much the only thing I tweaked. If I tweak anything else, I'll let ya know. Tra la.

**I'M NOT A FREAK. I'M EMMETT CULLEN.**

**1.**

He lay there on the bed, propping himself up with his arm. He looked down on her resting form. Her golden locks pooling around her shoulders, framing her face like a halo. Her porcelain skin looking almost warm in contrast with the satin apricot colored bed sheets. She was beautiful, like a flawless pearl, and just a precious. He looked over her body in appreciation. The curve of her back and the shape of her body under the delicate sheet covering half her body. He listened to the soft breaths escaping her pink lips. Her peaceful slumber brought contentment and peace to his otherwise restlessness mind. He reached his hand over and brushed the top of her arm with a feather light caress of his finger tips. He bowed is head down and placed a soft kiss on her shoulder. Her skin still smelt like raspberries and orchids. An angel sent to him from a beautiful place only reachable in blessed dreams. He laid back down, shutting his eyes and drawing in a trembling breath. He wanted to cry.

Emmett turned away from her and stared harshly at the wall. He had been with her, his angel, his Rosalie, for years. Wonderful years. She was his wife, his heart. Not in the traditional sense, but his wife regardless. When he first saw her face, looking down on him as he gasped for breath lying there on the ground, he saw his mercy and light. He knew that she was there to save him from his fate, take his pain away. She had lifted up his hand held it, whispering 'poor thing' against his palm, placing a kiss on his wrist. His pain was replaced by an different kind. It gave him a sense of relief and comfort rather than anguish and torture. When he had awoke, she was there, caressing his face, cooing some pretty little song, becoming his forever.

Forever. No such thing. Emmett's heart ached. Over a short course of time, forever was becoming a memory. They fought more. Not that they never did before, but instead of an occasional battle or words on something big and significant, it was constant spats, arguments and squabbles on ridiculous and trivial things. Their affection for one another was dwindling little by little. They didn't hold hands as much or show great displays of affection like they used to. Their love making was also suffering. Once and a while now, they would be intimate with each other. The time that they did, Emmett was finding it a great struggle to keep interested. It wasn't that his heart wasn't in it, he loved Rosalie, immensely. It was physicality of it. His body just didn't want to be on the same page as his heart and mind. It was driving him crazy.

Tonight was the same. Only not. It wasn't just the simple act any more, it was everything. The touching, the exploring, the delicate details before the act itself. He had done it for her, to make her feel good, it was what she liked. He set aside that he just wanted to get it done and over with. It made him feel sick to no end to feel that way. She had asked his if he'd enjoyed it at all. He lied and said of course. But he knew she didn't believe him. She had just turned her back to him and went to sleep. His heart had sank.

It was still feeling that way. Like it was trapped in water, struggling to breath. His beautiful, perfect wife was laying there beside him, her body, unclothed and flawless. He wanted nothing to do with it. The thought of running his hand up her slender legs and placing it between the delicate folds between them, no longer held the same appeal. He body was no longer filling him with strong sexual desire and want. Those feelings were being replaced with discomfort and revulsion.

It made Emmett want to scream and cry. If he could be sick, he would be. He could almost feel some phantom feeling of nausea run through him. What was so horribly wrong with him that the woman he loved and cherished more than anything in the world was now the one thing he could no longer stand? The one thing he could no longer bear to touch.

TBC.

I'm sorry this is so short. The rest of the chapters will be ridiculously longer I promise. Like a good few pages at least. This shorty chapter busniess will only happen once. You have my word. Thank you for reading. Please review, they are love ^_^


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks guys for the nice reviews. You all rock. And without further ado, Chapter 2

The next morning, Emmett opened his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair. He let out a yawn and stretched his muscles. He was exhausted. His sleep had been broken at best and if he had dreamt, he couldn't remember. When he looked over to see Rosalie, she had already gone. No doubt already downstairs and waiting to go to school. Emmett let out a sigh before getting himself up and out of bed. He made his way towards the shower in the bedroom they shared catching a glimpse of his bare form in the mirror. Rosalie had always said that he looked like some exquisite statue carved from marble.

He touched his abdomen and ran his fingers across the skin. He saw the gashes and tears that once covered his body, the devastated muscle and bone that erupted from the open wounds. Emmett shut his eyes for a second and opened them. The images were gone. He could no longer see the mangled tortured mess on the outside. He only felt it on the inside.

Emmett stepped into the shower and turned the water. He set the temperature hotter that one could normally stand. He wanted to feel heat on his skin. Wanted to feel the one thing he could no longer indulge on his own. He stepped underneath the hot jets of water and sighed contentedly. The heat raining on his back was strangely calming and soothing. Like streams of Jasper running down his skin. Emmett smiled a little at that thought. How wonderful it would be to remove any unwanted feeling from yourself. He would love to be Jasper right now. Or even in his presence. To have all this dread and emotional sick ripped from his mind and heart. But why burden another with his troubles, they were no one's problem but his own.

Emmett stood under the water for at least ten minutes more before stepping out and drying off. The bathroom was filled with steam and the lingering smell of his body wash. He toweled off his body and proceeded to dress. He put on a pair of slightly baggy white pants and a tight long sleeved shirt, also white. He pulled on a pair of runners and looked at himself in the mirror. He made a face and shook his head before heading downstairs.

"Good morning Emmett." Esme said warmly. He bright smile illuminating the room.

"Mmm. Morning." Emmett muttered back. He hoped he came off as tired. He really didn't want his mood exposed.

"Are you alright dear?" Esme questioned with concern.

Emmett nodded. "Yes. Just … tired." He tried to push back all his frustrations and feelings. Especially since, out of the corner of his eye, he could see Jasper eyeing him. Trying to ignore Jasper's probing stare, he made his way over to Rosalie. "Morning hon." He said as he placed a kiss on her cheek.

She glanced up at him with slight annoyance. "Hmm. Didn't think you were getting up."

Emmett sighed and stepped away from her. He knew why she was being standoffish and cold with him. He couldn't blame her. It still bothered him thought. Almost as much as the distinct feeling of eyes on his back. He turned to Jasper and glared at him. "What?"

Jasper just blinked and withdrew his gaze. "Nothing."

"Good." Emmett said tersely. He wasn't in the mood for confrontation. Then Edward had to open his mouth.

"What's wrong with you this morning? Well, judging by Rosalie, I think I know." Edward said with a smirk.

Emmett sneered. " Shut your mouth before you're missing teeth."

Edward laughed. "Ooh, are you going to hit me? How Neanderthal of you."

"Oh fuck you!" Emmett snapped, walking over raising his fist.

Edward jumped up from his chair and stood behind it. He was beyond surprised that Emmett was actually going to hit him. As big as Emmett was, and as angry as he could get, he had never brought it to a physical point.

"Emmett! Please don't. Edward, please stop edging him on. You can see he's not in a good mood today. I will not have fighting between my children." Esme said calmly.

Emmett lowered his fist and stuffed his hands into his pockets. "M'sorry."

Edward just rolled his eyes. "Mmm. Yeah well. Control yourself."

"Yes. Control yourself Emmett." Rosalie said in a harsh tone. "You big ape."

Emmett winced at that. If there was one thing he hated it was being called and treated like he was dumb. He could unfortunately fell the anger rising in him. His eyes, no doubt, we're darkening. The hand that he suddenly felt on his arm, was the only thing keeping him from breaking something. He could feel his anger diminishing.

"Come on Em. Lets go. I'll ride with you." Jasper said in a soothing tone. He gently tugged Emmett's arm and gestured him to the door. Jasper could feel his calming ability at work. He could see the color returning to Emmett's eyes and his anger diminishing. With a little more effort, his managed to get Emmett outside and to his Jeep.

"Relax Em. Ignore them."

Emmett glared a Jasper. Not in anger, but more out of annoyance. "Get off me." He said shrugging Jasper's hand off his arm. "Quit trying to do your feely crap on me. Just leave me alone."

Jasper looked at Emmett with genuine concern. "Are you sure? Lets just go. And if you feel like saying something, I'll listen."

Emmett just looked at Jasper as if he was mental. He shook his head. "Whatever."

They both climbed into Emmett's silver Jeep, both boys, completely quiet. Emmett put the key in the ignition and started the car. He pulled out of the driveway. The tension in the vehicle was so thick it was like a butter knife trying to cut through marble. Emmett just kept driving, purposely focused on the road, more so that normal. Jasper sat in the passenger's seat, his hands in his lap, debating on saying something.

"Emmett, whats wrong? And don't tell me '_nothing_' because I can _feel_ that's not true." Jasper almost immediately regretted the word that fell from his mouth.

Emmett looked over at his for a brief moment before turning his eyes back to the road. He sighed irritably. "That's the problem with this family." He stated.

Jasper looked confused. "What is?"

Emmett made a huffing sound. "Nobody can keep their gifts to themselves."

Jasper looked away. He never meant to invade peoples emotions. He really couldn't help it. Especially when one's emotions were overtly overwhelming as Emmett's were. "I'm sorry." He mumbled. "I just want to help."

"Well, don't. You wouldn't get it anyway. So drop it."

Jasper sighed. "Okay. I just don't like that you feel so lost and afraid. It makes me sad."

Emmett gripped the steering wheel. "You really want to know?"

Jasper looked over at Emmett, his eyes very kind and full of concern. "Only if you want to tell me."

Emmett bit his lip and gave a small sigh before replying. "I think I want to break up with Rosalie."

The only thing Jasper could do was blink. Of all the things that could have come out of Emmett's mouth, that was the least expected. Despite the shock, Jasper's voice remained calm and collected. "Why?"

"I just can't … be with her. I just don't … feel the same." Emmett replied in a uneasy tone.

"Well." Jasper began. "Why do you say that? Did she do something?"

Emmett groaned. "No. It's just … I … I just can't. I don't know." As uncomfortable as the conversation already was, it became more so as Emmett felt Jasper's eye just stairing at him. "Would you stop that." Emmett grumbled.

"Stop what?" Jasper questioned.

"Stop staring at me like I've grown a second head."

"Sorry. I didn't realize." Jasper said apologetically. "Have you talked to Rosalie?"

Emmett let out a bitter laugh. "No. She already pissed at me as it is."

"How come?"

"I wasn't really into _it _last night. This time she could tell."

Jasper looked at Emmett oddly. "_This time_? So, what ever this is has been going on foe a while then?"

Emmett swallowed hard. "I … yeah. I don't know why. What the hell is wrong with me?"

Jasper gave a small smile. "I really don't know Emmett. If there is anything at all. I really can't read your mind. I'm not Edward. Though if you really wanted to … "

Emmett gave Jasper a light smack on the shoulder. "I'm not talking to Edward. Jackass."

Jasper laughed. "Kidding Em. I got you to smile at least."

Emmett tried to hid a small smile. "I admit nothing."

Jasper gave Emmett a gentle squeeze on the shoulder. "If you don't want to be with Rosalie any longer, or feel you can't, you need to tell her so."

"And what am I suppose to tell her?"

Jasper gave him another comforting squeeze. "Well, you need to figure that out first. Figure out why your feeling have changed. Figure out why you no longer desire to be close with her. Then, talk to her. No matter how upset she get, it's better to go out with the truth than walk around forever with a lie."

Emmett gave Jasper a very solemn smile. "How did you get so smart?"

Jasper gave a warm smile. "I think it's safe to say that I've felt almost every feeling a person can have. I can't know what's going on in your head. I can know what's going on in your heart. It tells me that you're very unhappy and can't figure out why. And are terrified of the answer you might find."

Emmett's heart sank. "Do you know the answer?"

"No Emmett. That's something only you can find."

Emmett scoffed. "Great."

"I'm sorry, Em. But I'll be here for you when you need it."

For the first time since he woke up, Emmett smiled. "Thanks Jazz."

Jasper smiled back. "Anytime. Now pay attention or you're going to drive right by the school."

Emmett gave a small laugh. "Right." He said as they pulled into the parking lot.

TBC.

Thanks for reading! Please review, they are love ^_^


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